Oxymoron
by KarinaKamichi
Summary: A certain 'pretty boy' finally gives his input on what he thinks of the mentally insane Ken-chan, which leads to confusion between him and Yachiru. Why does it seem that Ikkaku, and his prideful head, is becoming a laughing stock of others, and a target for...mishaps? An oxymoron can really be helpful, especially in awfully beneficial times like these. Plz R&R.


**Story:****_ Oxymorons_**

**Summary: ****_A certain 'pretty boy' finally gives his input on what he thinks of the mentally insane Ken-chan, which leads to confusion between him and Yachiru. Why does it seem that Ikkaku, and his prideful head, is becoming a laugh stock of others, and a target for...mishaps? An oxymoron can really be helpful, especially in awfully beneficial times like these._**

**Disclaimer:****_ I don't own Bleach..._**

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"What was that, pretty boy?"

Yachiru sat on her captain's shoulder, observing them closely, her cheek comfortably lying in her hand. A smile appeared on her face, as Kempachi bent down to meet the apathetic gaze of the noble Captain Kuchiki. Ikkaku and Renji stood in the sidelines, their eyes wide in surprise.

"A-am I hearing things?" the redhead gulped. "Did taichou just..._insult _Zaraki-taichou?"

"I'm not liking where this is headed. From the looks of it, this situation could get pretty ugly. I have no intentions in getting involved in such squabble." Yumichika sighed, pushing back his hair, as he flash stepped away from the sight.

"Well, this is interesting," Matsumoto giggled, playfully resting her elbow on the top of Ikkaku's head. "Kuckiki-taichou has an aggressive side, _after all!_"

Ikkaku's vain pulsed at her lack of respect in using _his_ head as an 'arm rest'.

"Hard at hearing? Do you need me to repeat myself?" Byakuya inquired coolly, raising an eyebrow. He remained unaffected by the rising reiatsu. "In my eyes, you will remain nothing but a peasant king, Kempachi Zaraki."

"Yay!" Yachiru cheered happily. "Bya-kun just gave Ken-chan a compliment!"

In the awkward silence of the room, restrained snickering could be heard from Renji and Ikkaku, upon hearing the pink haired lieutenant's apparent 'misunderstanding'. He sent them a cold, bone-chilling glare-of-death.

"What're you two morons snickerin' 'bout, over there?" he questioned, silencing them at once. He now glanced up at Yachiru. "Yachiru,"

She looked down, curiously. "Hm?"

"I would like an explanation as to how is _that suppose_ to be taken as a compliment." he said.

"That's because you _are_ one, Ken-chan! Everyone in the whole soul society knows it." she excitedly threw out her arms. "Even Bya-kun! You're being called a king, of course it's a compliment!"

Kempachi sighed. "Yachiru, do you have any clue as to what an oxymoron is?"

"A moron? Oh, yeah, I know what that is!" she beamed happily, pointing over to Ikkaku. "Baldy-chan is who you mean, right?"

The corner of said man's mouth twitched.

"I said OXY moron, _not_ moron." Kempachi paused in thought, glancing once more at the shiny headed Shinigami. "Not that I disagree; he's as oblivious as they come. Hehe..."

_Twitch._

"An oxymoron is contradictin' words that are put together, like big wimp, or perfect disaster." Kempachi explained.

"You mean like Mount Baldy?"

_Twitch. Twitch._

"Yeah," Kempachi sighed in defeat. "Somethin' like that. Speakin' of which... Hey, Girly boy, you an' I haven't..."

Upon turning back, he came to find out Byakuya had left, along with his lieutenant. Ikkaku appeared to be to only one left, aside of him and Yachiru.

"He's gone..." he growled in agitation. "Pft... Noble Pride, what'a load a crack..."

"It's not nice to waste someone's time when they're waiting nicely, Ken-chan," Yachiru said. "Bya-kun probably got tired and left."

"Too bad... I was really lookin' forward to turnin' his blossoms into rubble..." he replied, disappointment evident in his voice, as he prepared to leave.

"Baldy-chan, get up, or Ken-chan is gonna leave you behind!" exclaimed Yachiru

_Twitch. Twitch. Twitch._

_SNAP!_

"For the last time, I am NOT bald!"

_They gave chase. _

"Faster, Ken-chan!" Yachiru giggled. "Baldly-chan might catch up, if you don't hurry."

"We wouldn't want that, now would we?" Kempachi grinned manically. "He seems to be havin' an awfully fun time, an' I'm beginnin' to enjoy this, myself. HAHAHA! I could do this all day!"

"Baldy-chan, Ken-chan might outrun you! " Yachiru suggested, as they sped up.

"Why you-" Ikkaku's threat was cut off, as something flew down, suddenly splatting on his cheek. As he was reaching up to wipe whatever it was off, Yachiru burst out laughing, saying something about 'Mount Baldy' and 'birds'. He didn't care what it was she'd said. All he knew is that they were going to pay for mocking his name, and, more importantly his prideful head, that was clearly NOT BALD.

"YOU ANGELIC BRAT! I AM _NOT_BALD!"

_~ End of Story ~_

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**A/N: ****_What did you think? I may gone slightly overboard in the drama. A little fluff, perhaps, but it can't be that bad, can it? Review._**


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